So here’s the thing right. The holidays are great. The end of the year is great. Those of us who are working manage to get by doing the bare minimum and still manage to make the most of the season. But you know what, the holidays are not the same for everybody.

For some, the holidays are actually a terrible time. While reflecting on all the great things we’ve achieved, we are also constantly reminded of the job opportunities we lost or were not awarded, visa rejections, running short on cash much earlier than you had prepared to and sickness when you have the busiest week at work, death of a close family member or friend and, heartbreak. And NO MATTER WHAT GOOD HAS HAPPENED IN OUR LIVES, on some days of the remaining 31 of the year, it is difficult to not focus on it. It becomes increasingly difficult to see the good. To see the silver lining. The positive side of it all because “everything happened for the best.” Because no matter how rainbows and sunflowers we all are or seem to be to the rest of the world, sometimes you can’t or don’t want to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

and that’s okay.

You don’t want to go out to that party? Don’t.

You don’t want to go Christmas shopping? Do it online, if you are able to.

There are no excuses you need to give anyone else on why you feel lonely in a room of 50 of your closest family and friends with whom you are about to start dinner.

Some might reach out. If you can, (and if they agree to it) hold on to them like your dear life. Distance yourself from those who don’t feel like home, those who are not able to respond to (after you’ve told them that you are in fact feeling like shit) let alone recognise your pain.

If it’s within your means, spend money to buy “some happiness” no matter how temporary it is. Or if you are up for it, meet a psychologist or counsellor and talk about it if you think and know it will make you feel better. Be what other’s would call “selfish” and Cosmopolitan would call “self-love”. You might feel better or it might be worse than it was. But in time, you will deal with the pain. The loneliness. The hurt. It will either go away or become a part of your bigger self.

And maybe, just maybe, things might start to look up. Or maybe they won’t, but here’s to trying.