What a whirlwind of a year. To say that things have taken a 360° – I’m also writing this paragraph on September 24, 2019 – is an understatement. Of course, things didn’t change drastically, all at once. For example, this time last year, yes, the end of the year did get me overthinking more than usual, but I had four jobs, two of which were especially promising, a relatively better personal life situation and no abs. Fun fact, it’s the end of 2019 and I still don’t have abs.

NB – I am changing up my annual blog post style (the one from 2018 is linked up there and the 2017 post can be found here). Now that I’m older and wiser (I hope), I realised that I can’t make things great, Donald Trump style, so instead, I’m just doing a couple of lessons and bits I picked up in 2019. Oh and yes, I am uploading it weeks ahead, this usually goes up around New Year but this time, but since I did start writing this months ahead of schedule, I guess we should make the most of it! 🙂 Also some of them sound like Pinterest quotes and I guess they probably are!

1. Love is easy to find but difficult to keep.
2. I am more stubborn than I was a year ago and therefore have become more difficult to love.
3. People change, but remember, so do you.
4. I’m not a crowd pleaser but I also want to be indispensable to those closest to me, even if this results in severe burnout for myself.
5. Friendships and relationships are hard. They are tiring. They exhaust you. And even if you are a complete loner and wish to be left alone, you still need them.
6. Nature does wonderful things to heal the body.
7. Nature is also equally wonderful and clear your minds and it also opens up your creative space.
8. Making a goal and putting it out to the world, kind of makes you more accountable. (I tried it for two years now with some small travel goals and it has worked!)
9. Similarly, if you have a goal in mind, you will somehow start working towards it.
10. Speaking of goals, individual goals that don’t require collaboration with others are relatively easier to achieve because you only have to control yourself.
11. And yes, I am controlling. Stubborn. Deal with it.
12. Mental health is important.
13. Anxiety (and depression) never leaves your body or mind. Sometimes it can hit you when you least expect it. Sometimes it can happen when you are in the middle of a jungle with no access to mobile network, let alone a pharmacy.
14. Karma manifests in weird ways. As long as you do not harm others and work in the best interest of most people (motorists on the road are not counted) then no (colossal) harm comes to you.
15. I grieve best, alone.
16. I also learnt that while grieving alone, this grief can hit you when you least expect it. Sometimes while you are making dinner, sometimes while washing your underclothes or sometimes when you are doing some mindless yet mandatory work.
17. Speaking more on grief, I don’t think grief ever leaves you. Maybe it does for some, but for some of us, we make it a part of our regular every day and sooner if not later and we learn to live with it.
18. I tremendously enjoy being alone and not socialising.
19. I also learnt that being alone and being lonely can be very different in nature and sometimes it’s okay to be alone and wanting someone in your life. You might not get/have anyone, but having that thought in your head doesn’t make you an awful person. Yes, sometimes we need a bit of attention.
20. I realised that as the “class clown” you are always required to put on a happy face and brave front because have you ever seen an unhappy clown?
21. I’ve learnt how not to disturb the waters in my head or the waters (or ocean) we share with others. It takes a lot to be diplomatic, nonchalant and sometimes not giving a fuck. If you are already doing that, you deserve a treat.
22. I’ve learnt that however selfish it may sound, you have to prioritise your own needs first because no one else is going to do that for you.
23. Less is always better. Be it clothes, food or the people you put in a box of “nearest and dearest”.
24. Speaking of less, make sure to take care of these little people in your life. Shower them with love (for me that’s being indispensable via driving, cooking, cleaning, slaving away) and gifts even when it’s not Christmas or their birthdays.
25. Guilt is a terrible feeling to have. You can’t runaway from it. You can’t ignore it and worse, you can’t do anything about it since the damage is already done. But you hope, secretly that the experience has made you a better person.
26. Leaving people is difficult. It’s worse when you leave them because let alone what others say about you, it feels wrong to have done what you felt was right.
27. Speaking of others, I have convinced myself at least 80% on how not to give a fuck about what others say.
28. I’ve learnt that my body is mouldable and depending on how I take care of it, it will take care of me.
29. And finally, I have learnt that if I set my mind to do something, I will get around to doing it. It won’t be a perfect job, but it will be a complete job.

Here’s to 2020, the year of possibility.

#ThinkSunny🌻

PS – I have a Facebook page that I’m still not too comfortable throwing around, but want you to know about 🙂 Also the featured image was taken during my trek to Annapurna Base Camp in October 2019.