While the agnostic living in me might be questioning the creation of life in itself, the child in me cannot help but be marvelled at how one thought can ever so subtly relate to another. Just Monday night I was lying in bed, having those few minutes of explosive-creativity before drifting off to sleep, half tossing and turning in exhaustion and the other half cursing in laziness on not being able to get hold of my laptop, five feet away and put my thoughts to a structured layout. I didn’t voice memo either, because I knew I’d fall asleep, but my sleeping thoughts were on motivation.

However, my waking thoughts the following day were on Blank Space by Taylor Swift.

It’s Wednesday now and I cannot stop listening to Ms Swift.

However, I ranted about this already over here (and seem to have done it here before over here), but midweek holidays are always the pits. Sometimes they can be refreshing yes, but when it is closer to the weekend (read, Thursday), like last week back home, then the slack hits in and the next thing you know all hell has broken lose. Apparently, this wasn’t a singular case it seems. A few people I know did also go through the chaotic after effects of the wretched midweek holiday and ended up in a rut, slack and the core of for those anything but productive.

But the time has come ish, and the system is slowly gaining consciousness and life seems to be settling back to work mode. The plan is also to work over the weekend to catch up on days missed. But throughout it all was a constant notion that dominated my waking and sleeping thoughts (there wasn’t really much of a distinction between the two either): I was demotivated and no amount of Madagascar (a recent favourite), Taylor Swift or shopping sites would get me back on track.

It’s something I had known since my India days and would probably trace its roots to the time I began reading Game of Thrones during the ten days of study leave for my finals. The urgency didn’t hit because I had found a better distraction to studying. Working out didn’t help either. What did help was pushing myself out there, studying and eventually graduating. <confetti>

It is the same “motivation” drives me to either get work done, work out, eat healthy or even bring myself together to do chores. 

What I have also realised during my hours of talking to myself is that this “motivation” cannot be outsourced. You can receive encouragement yes, however motivation from the little I studied (and remember) from psychology is that it is an intrinsic factor. Before the psychologists throw bricks at me, I do agree (to an extent) with studies conducted on extrinsic motivation but my inner-voice tells me that it isn’t, you know, as effective.

Continuing with my very bias opinion, let me tell you that demotivated people are a big no-no for me. I do put up with them, but unless you are family, I will leave you stranded in the Sahara. Something I have learnt and observed within the past year is that I choose to avoid being around those who are neither driven nor motivated. While I do accept people as they are, not only do I find such people to be negative energy, but they are also the type to definitely to drain energy from you. Lily had a video recently and she speaks of the sort of people that depend on another to help depend on all of life’s moments, both happy and sad. Like seriously. While I’m all for lending ears, eyes and help to my family and friends, I’m just glad that most of them are independent enough to deal with basic emotions in life, alone.

The latter thought also comes from the fact that I am a happy loner and as someone who celebrates solitude, I cannot understand someone who cannot stand to be alone or deal with their shit alone. Jeez. This leads to these creepy crawlers having to be constantly motivated in order to go study, cheer them up, console them and who knows, even make them do their laundry.

Please do hug your screen if you feel my frustration right now.

Of the many things I don’t understand in life, this is no different. Why aren’t people naturally motivated to do things that they have brought unto themselves? Is it difficult to see the consequences of procrastinating? You might even lose a job for crying out loud. Unless of course all these circumstances are governed by a tragic and (un)expected event in their life, then it is justifiable but that is the exception and not the norm.

Now that the rant-essay’s done, I’m off to go catch up on a backlog of missed content.

Hope you babies have a wonderful weekend.

❤