Apologies on phrase in parentheses. I couldn’t help myself. This post was driven by this, something a friend had shared on Twitter this afternoon.
I have nothing against what Philip has to say. In fact, a few of the guys I know are actually hopeless romantics so much so to the extent that ‘chick flicks’ are no longer accurate.
I was never a romantic. I had seen and been apart of too many broken relationships, abusive relationships and unhappy endings since my younger days that didn’t provide me the capacity to be pro-relationships. I began dating only after I left school and then left abroad for college a year later.
To this date I’m glad I was in college, away from home, because I wouldn’t know how I would be in a relationship had I lived in the same country as my ex boyfriends did.
As a result of not believing in the success of relationships, I was glad for the distance. Since childhood, I was looked upon as the opposite of my sister. Friendly and talkative in social situations, yet quiet at home and often ‘kept to myself’. This, I carried with me to the rest of my childhood, teenage years and even to date. I do not open up. I do not express feelings. I care for people who are close to me, it comes naturally but that does not mean I cannot be indifferent to your existence as well. I am a happy loner. Nature and HBO tells me that the wolf pack survives better together but I survive better alone. I do present myself when required, I do not complain about what’s on the dinner table because more often than not, life is mere existence and the reason why we survive, continues to baffle me.
I’m not too sure if you would be able to accept me for who I am, but once we do meet I hope you do. I will not cheat on you as that is something I could never bring myself to do, but you must understand that space is priority for me. It’s a concept the previous generation struggles to understand. It’s a concept they understand as physical space, which is not entirely true. I would explain it to you in detail when we meet, but if you are able to understand me without me having to tell you this, I’m sure you would be what hopeless romantics call ‘The One’.
I know this is an overly personal letter to you, especially because we are yet to meet, but if you stumble upon this someday, I hope you would be able to read me better. While I do think that communication is important to a relationship, I also think that the ability to understand each other without having to communicate becomes more important. I might be seeking a mind reader and if you are by some stroke of luck, welcome aboard.
Romantic relationships were never a priority for me as I know that they are bound to fail due to some shortcoming from my end. I’m not trying the method of portraying myself innocent, but it’s bound to happen.
If in the event I don’t meet you or perhaps may remain indifferent to your existence, I truly apologise. I constantly keep myself occupied, as it is one of the most successful and lucrative ways to keep me distracted. I’m a happy loner and if we never meet, I wish you well and all the happiness and sunshine in the world and if we do, I hope the sun would always shine on us.