Why I Want to Write about Financing (or “Budgeting” predominantly)

If I start to count the number of videos I watched before starting this post, trust me I would’ve failed having tried to keep track of em. As far as most writers go, I am pretty Jon Snow when it comes to financing. The most I would’ve gotten as far as financing goes would be that o/level commerce class and a/level accounts option weirdly paired with some English literature. As most people would admit too, I’m not that book smart. I like to think that I’m street smart instead because let’s face it, if it’s not the books it has to be the “streets” until someone comes up with alternate terminology.

My “budgeting” days start somewhere in 2007-2008 when I did “odd” – but legal – jobs on the side. Then it was more on getting pocket money that I would dish out at once because, well, the chief finance officer = the mother!

Starting 2009, there were regular pay cheques coming in monthly that ranged from four figures to lo and behold, five figures every month. It wasn’t a steady stream of money but in retrospect, I actually did more with that money than I do now. This might also be because I didn’t use four-to-five-figure face products as I do now. Gah. I remember shopping for everyone after my first real “pay cheque” and even throwing a little birthday party for my mum with her closest friends and family (that amounted to around fifty people) – with only four-five figures!

Next it was India. No, my degree was neither in financing nor commerce. On the contrary, it was in communications (though I later went on to major in English with minors and psychology and communications, because I tend to be indecisive as fuck). My Mother paid for my degree and my sister for accommodation and survival as I was not book-smart enough to look out for scholarships.

I would like to think that my real journey in to budgeting and finances began then.

The first two weeks of the month was always glorious. My lovely Sri Lankan roomie and I would try out different restaurants that were forever in our bucket lists and the next two weeks spent getting as creative as you could get with sliced bread, Maggi noodles, lots of canned food (read: tuna) and the x-number of sauces. I would’ve said cereal but in reality trying to get creative with cereal sounds a little too gross.

I know I could've just done the same with my Scrabble board but we have Google to save our souls
I know I could’ve just done the same with my Scrabble board but we have Google to save our souls

But this was somewhere in 2012 and fast forward to four years now, I am a little surprised at how not much has changed! Haha. No, I’m not proud of it either. I’m laughing because that’s what I do in situations where I don’t cry.

See interestingly, the routine is still the same. Except that I work three jobs (+ odd jobs – all legal!) now and expenses and all that jazz have significantly increase. Let’s not even start with the other vices now, haha. I recently bought myself a car, or will continue to buy (or pay) sounds just about more accurate as that’s what I will be doing for a while and have decided on travelling far more than my travel quota the coming year completely disregarding my shaky job situation.

For the umpteenth time, I’m neither book-smart, nor am I feeling very brave but as the book of English idioms would have it, I’m feeling very “take the bull by its horns” these days.

Fingers crossed this goes well!

This Millennial in Colombo

I was born to a privileged generation, Millennials they call us. True, as a Sri Lankan I had war, but then I lived in Colombo and the most we did was have a “drill” for emergency situations during the late 90s. But unless you live in Sri Lanka, it would be difficult to understand as to why we weren’t the “direct” victims of war. Yes, I had family and friends that died in war and we also had an occasional bomb that would go off some place close to where we lived or schooled, but as far as the “victims of war” were concerned, that was not me (I refrain from using “us” because of how soon people get offended for things these days).

With the height of war, the next biggest catastrophe (I speak for the number of localities affected that’s why I did not mention the the Central Bank bomb blast) was the tsunami. Internet was still at its dial-up days in 2004 and information was not freely floating around as much as it is now and up until the tsunami struck us in 2004, I did not know what a tsunami was.

True this island girl cannot swim and hence did not venture into the sea, but having grown up next to the sea (or schooled, would be the better word) it was unfathomable how my favourite past-time or gazing-at-the-sea-and-being-all-philosophical would bring upon a large group of people such disasters. Yes, I was aware of storms and the sort, but they were disasters “at sea” and to my teenage brain, the sea posed no threat to those living on land.

But just as the war, the tsunami did not hit “Colombo” – or parts of it might have but I’m not too sure.

Hence, once again, we were safe.

Fast forward to 2016, we have floods. Once again, there is no direct impact to me. Yes, I am stuck here at home because of the water and traffic on the main roads taking us to Colombo, but me, my family and house are okay. I also have internet to post this and as far I know, this is luxury.

My extended family however, is not.

I am told that this isn’t as bad as the early 90s flood. I would know it is not because what remains of their photo albums (sitting in one of my boxes) tell me so.

But it’s getting there.

A close friend and his family of five including a child at hand have taken shelter on their roof. My grandparents, uncle and aunt have shifted to the bed room and extension space on the second floor of their house. Most of the other family friends, even though not knee deep in water, cannot step out of their main gate.

Apart from the fact that we all know now how much I dislike rain, what bothers and irks me most (I think) is think is my inability to do anything, or rather,

how vulnerable I am when I cannot save (or be there for) those whom I care. 

Riding on my Game of Thrones high from yesterday, it’s similar to how Tommen feels when he cannot do anything for Margery or could not Cersei when imprisoned, despite being King.

But I’m not a Queen, not in anywhere inclined to any form of royalty whatsoever but I work for the development sector (particularly climate change and environment) that are yet to have its disaster management centre, met department and other authorities step up their game on early warning systems and similar practices. But instead, we work primarily on policy and on donor requirements that will help fulfil international energy targets and best practices of what is accepted industry.

I’m not complaining about the work I do and am no doubt blessed to be doing what I do, working from home and all, but sometimes when the industry you work for is unable to fulfil its responsibilities at home base, trust me it can get a bit discouraging. 

Should you need more clarity, I would recommend reading after the quake by Haruki Murakami. Yes, you would tell me that somethings were lost in translations but no, that’s not a concern now. Neither is it as dramatic a situation yet, but it’s a dreaded level of hopelessness that seems to have engulfed those of us who cannot do anything to help

I wanted to lighten the moment because who knew we drowned so deep and this seems to be the only apt copyleft image I could find.

Until the sun shines bright upon us once again and the laundry finds it way back to my dresser neatly folded.

On Productivity

Two things work through my mind as I start typing this out:

On how pretentious a productive person I might sound (loving the alliteration though, can’t help it, slurp);

IT’S BEEN THE SECOND DAY IN A ROW SINCE I WROTE SLASHED BLOGGED. GAH. YAY. OHMYGOSHImuststopbeingasdramatic.

December Diaries copyJokes aside though, I have some productive tendencies. It all comes down to how productive I genuinely want to be. Emphasis on the genuine (and not some as most would’ve assumed, lol), because I have come to realise that I cannot fuck with my brain. It knows when it is urgent and how important it is to me or something on those lines.

So of my twenty-something years on board, here’s what education, work, familial and other relationships have taught me on productivity: 

a) Sleep has nothing to do with this

I don’t know about you, but as a kid I had plenty of autographs. You remember those yes? 90s kids? 80s kids? 70s? 60s, no that was my Mum. But these autographs, (not the funky ones with questions that became a hit in the 2000s) were colourful blank often-perfumed pages for friends, family and loved ones to write nice things about you, so that when you grow old, grey and miserable, life has given you something good to fall back on. I jawk, aren’t I just hilarious? 😀

In one of my first autographs (I may have been 7+), my Mum wrote in it, “Early to bed, early to rise, makes a girl healthy, wealthy and wise.” I mean, I’ve always been a night-owl. As a child of seven, I used to clean my desk between 08-10pm every Tuesday night. (I don’t recall what the deal was on Tuesdays though) As an adult, health aside, the wealth and wisdom may have been accumulated from night-time adventures.

FYI, for those who are confused about the sort of work I do, no I do not moonlight as a hooker. My area already has a few prominent bodies who may not be accepting of mine and my body is still not on par with theirs and hence, it comes down to a matter of tough competition.

On the health side of things, yes, your face would look brighter, but then again I have for most part of my life never had the issue of circles or bags under my eyes and have begun using an under-eye cream to prevent any such nuisance in the years to come.

b) Do not however, ignore the importance of sleep

This does not mean that you are to work all night long because you need no sleep, like Jon Snow, you know nothing. Even if sleep does not come naturally to you, while I do not advocate for sleeping pills and what not, if you must, do go ahead with it, if not, try exercising, eating lighter meals and Googling as to how you can sleep better at night. Even if you don’t sleep, try to lie on your bed listening to music. Try to avoid reading or watching anything that will bring additional strain on your eyes, but just chill and hopefully, you’ll fall asleep.

c) Understand your body type / environments you work (best) in

This is a weird productivity tip of sorts, but I think for me to have written the first two points, it took me a while before I figured out that I was a night person. It’s not only night-night that’s most important to me, but also the environment you work in.

For example, when I’m at home, I work into the nights because the house is quieter and everything is really calm. I even tend to workout most at nights. However, if I am travelling for work or on vacation, I do have early night (sometimes as early as 10pm?) because I tend to finish up on work during the day because of the change in environment (and also due to the less number of household chores / responsibilities that you may otherwise have).

It’s best for you to understand on what works for you. For example, while in uni, my roomie was an early bird. So during exam time, I’d study from 10pm – 3am and I’d wake her up when I’m going to sleep where she will study from about 4am till mid morning.

d) Exercise

It’s funny that I speak on exercise because I’m anything but sporty. haha. In school I didn’t do any sports. Probably played badminton for about a year and clearly my Mum’s sports gene had hit neither my older sister nor me.

We don’t really have the most athletic of bodies either and due to our genetic mix, we are the if-you-eat-too-much-you-will-put-on-weight as opposed to the my-metabolism-is-naturally-high types. Towards my late teens and uni in India too had a lot to do with this, I started doing yoga. I started off with a yoga class (not the traditional one, this was at a gym, lol) and then followed a lot of yoga videos online and started reading up more on it. When I started feeling my body becoming stronger, I gradually incorporated more cardio and strength training into my routine and now, I have a relative-commendable schedule of working out thrice a week with some yoga, some cardio, stretching and core-strengthening. I don’t use machines or hit a gym (because of a very bad and funny gym accident I had a few years back); don’t jog (this tropical weather I’m telling you and we have weak-ish knees) and have put together a routine based on various workout videos and articles that strain neither the knees or the wrists.

Exercising has not only helped me fall asleep better at night but also help feel good about myself, especially that I-cannot-climb-up-this-staircase-but-oh-that-feels-good thought. Working out regularly has also made me make a mental note when planning things out because now we have one more thing to incorporate into the schedule!

e) Write your shiz down

As a writer that tries very hard, I essentially enjoy writing. While I was teaching, my students may have hated me, muhaha, but I try to institutionalise the practice of writing wherever I can, just as how I change computer languages from American to British English, HAHAHA.

Writing helps you put things in perspective and also helps you prioritise. I write both on paper and on the terrific Notes app on my laptop and phone. If you want a fancy shiz app, I’m sure there are tonnes on your phone app store that might hit your fancy.

If you are overwhelmed with hundred-and-one things to do and do multiple-thing-including-the-supposed-hooker-moonlighting like me and don’t know where to start, here’s what works for me:

  • Take a blank paper and write down in point or list form every single thing you want to do. These can include things like taking your kid to the doctor’s, calling up your friend to check on last week’s hangover (yes, these things happen and we forget), grocery shopping, paying you internet bill and so on. The list is not a work or house only list, but a list of everything you need to accomplish in life that moment. Of course if you write things like “graduate” then you might as well stay in school, silly goose.
  • Number them! Scan the list thoroughly and number them in order of importance. If some items are equally important, e.g. – shopping for your boyfriend’s birthday next week and finishing up a report, don’t hesitate to use the same number twice, but remember not to overdo it. Ask yourself if you will die, be fired, lose money or a relationship if the task is delayed and the answer is no, then it’s fine to push it to the bottom of the list. Do not mix prioritising with procrastinating, because what’s at the bottom of the list will make it’s way to the top, eventually and be complete.
  • Once the numbering is done, set time or date stamps, giving yourself a grace period as well (especially where client / employer deadlines are concerned).
  • Categorise your tasks then in either order of importance or a date-breakdown or just into baskets where they all belong.

What works best for me is when I put it in to a day plan – basically ten things I plan to achieve in a day (these also include chores and what not) and generic basket plan, where the different tasks are put into categories / clients / employers and then listed out it in the order of importance.

Yes this may sound terrifying, but once you spend time initially and get this ball rolling, encouragement and motivation will find its way here.

d) Deconstruct tasks

This is probably one of my favourite productivity tips that I made a habit while I was living away in India. I would basically breakdown a larger task and do it in small parts so that I wouldn’t be overwhelmed by the thought of it, when either a deadline or task is due. I use this most when it comes to household chores because I’ve seen my Mum clean the house inside out every weekend. For example, if it’s something like cleaning my bathroom, I would clean the floors on one day, the sink / commode on another, the wall tiles on another day and so on. This way, not only will my bathroom constantly be clean but when my loo can take no more, I wouldn’t be stuck in a pile of goo, literally. haha.

e) Incentives

I know, but this is great when you have to force yourself into doing something you don’t like, whether it is a school assignment or a task your line manager delegated to you, and you need that extra motivation to keep you going.

I usually make a mental note to reward myself:

  • if I complete something I’ve been putting off ages because it was too time consuming;
  • complete something I simply do not want to, but have to;
  • continuously work on a task / habit for a period of time. For example, last evening I shopped for some workout clothes because my workout schedule has actually been commendable over the past few weeks!

f) Take time off

I literally cannot speak or write more on this one. It’s a concept that is still new to me as it hasn’t been too long since I myself began practicing it. 

If you work unconventional job(s) or hours like I do, then everyone probably thinks that you lead suchha chill life. <insert image on Snoopy chilling on a beach chair with a Piña colada>

As if.

Chances are that you are (over) working most of the time, probably due to time zone constraints or there is simply too much work and your organisation does not have funding for an additional human resource, hence, alas and you soon start having your weekdays glide into your weekends and vice versa. The next step in this sequence is when you are termed a “workaholic”, “inconsiderate”, “bad relationship person”, “does not have time for family and friends” and so on.

I relate to this because I was this person about a year ago. Then, the words of my first boss / Editor found its way to my head. Six years back he told me,

It’s not about how (many) long (hours) you work, but how smart you work. 

Now, I make it a point NOT to work on Saturdays, I try for the entire weekend, but a Saturday is a start and a good one at that.

I try to take at least one weekend off doing nothing or spending time with family, friends, grocery shopping or travelling.

The break, I’ve grown to realise helps me reset and recharge for the next gruelling week ahead that I actually look forward to.

Word of the day: hustle

g) Spend time building yourself and your relationships 

This is not the yogic mantra nonsense telling you this, but taking time off has led me live somewhat of an offline life (of sorts) or at least to stay a few hours offline, spending time with myself or those whom I adore the most.

I’ll start with myself, because I’m narcissistic. If I have time to kill or purposely am avoiding work because I need a break, I do things that I find therapeutic, workout or just sleep. Even if I sleep in a little longer on a day I intend to wake up early, I have learned to stopped blaming myself because, perhaps the intention was not genuinely present when I fell asleep the night before. Spending time with myself either doing weird yogic nonsense like meditating has also helped me appreciate myself better and also worked a bit on the self confidence.

In case you didn’t realise, the narcissism was a sarcastic plugin.

My “me-time” usually pays off in good (productive) work vibes and that sort of positive chain reactions. I also think that good vibes and positivity goes beyond a hippy acid trip. It’s only natural for you to want to do the sort of work you do (regardless of how much you may not want to or how much you dislike it) when you are in a good mood. 🙂

I also now try to socialise and open up a bit more to family, friends and other favourites when I take time off. I either chill with them, do something fun together or just walk hand in hand to the sunset < #haw ❤ > because not only do we all need to calm the fuck down but also take some time off to appreciate one another by giving them our time.

I haven’t proofed this yet because it turned out WAY longer than I expected, but it’s honestly been something on my mind a long long time and here it is, finally. So excuse the typos and other (many) possible grammatical errors. Some of these work their way into productivity in a weird way (like motivation?), hence the reason I’ve included them in.

Until (hopefully) tomorrow, have a lovely Wednesday.

The First Tuesday of September / Updates from the Box

Hello my lovelies!

Lookie. Vositha gave me flowers after the end of the workshop. SO MUCH LAU <3
Lookie. Vositha gave me flowers after the end of the workshop. SO MUCH LAU ❤

It is approximately 1558h on Monday September 01, 2014 (yes I want a Tuesday post okay?) and yay to blogging on the first MONDAY of the month! I’m super sorry for not writing anything sooner, I just checked and my last post was on August 18! Where did all the time go? 😦 I also realised that it’s been a while (three months exactly) since I did a “First Tuesday of the Month” post as well! Sigh sigh sigh. Erratic blogging habits are such a turn-off. Tsk. I apologise to anyone who bothers to read this silly, often un-proofread blog of mine and thank you as well for reading it regardless. So much lau to you! I will give you chocolates if required. Bribing is the key to a successful readership they tell me.

So while typing out one of these long-due posts, I thought of also including a couple of things I’ve been up to over the past few week, which I may or may not have spoken about on the bloggie. (I did start typing something out on my phone a few days ago, but alas, never managed to complete it.)

  1. I’m using numbers because I’m a sucker for lists like that.
  2. Work has been going good. Very good in fact. This is the current-status of things. I just got back from Nepal after a (uhm) workshop held for the region. It was well (uhm) good.
  3. Missed my flight from Nepal to India on Friday and as a result of ended spending unwanted time the Tribhuvan International Airport and flying in to India an hour before my connecting flight back home only to sign a form where the airport said that they were not responsible for our luggage if lost, only to have received it at the belt upon arrival in Colombo but then to have additional luggage to take home because of the excess of duty free shopping required for the household’s entertainment purposes. I did not use punctuation for a reason and I hope my frustration was conveyed.
  4. I still haven’t fully recovered from the weariness of the workshop, attending it and ensuring that everyone else attend it as well and then go home in one piece. All but myself and Vositha. HAHA. Whattajawkman.
  5. Continuing on the line of work, it’s going good for now. I’m still all over the place. I’m blaming it on the wretched 20s. God forbid, let’s hope the 30s are not half as bad.
  6. I am finally convinced of my ability to write. Hurrah.
  7. My consumption of “all” socially-accepted yet religiously-declined substances seem to be (steadily) on the rise. Eh.
  8. I am still losing enough hair that would ball up for thousands of wigs for the cancer hospital (I mean this in a nice way).
  9. I’ve been getting sick more often than I like to. Sigh. (and no one shows me enough sympathy. kakki.)
  10. I need a day off to think about life and what the fuck I’m doing with it.

Yes! I had to cook up the tenth point so that there is closure to this post. HAHA. Let me know what you lovelies have been up to! I hope you week is sunny 🙂

The Story about Why I Dislike Rain

Hello Tuesday babies! 🙂

Happy Eid! ❤

So here in the sunny bunny isle of Sri Lanka, the rains have decided to come down on us. Now, for those who know me, you also know that I do not like the rain. Or cold weather. Or gloomy weather. Or you know.

Me, when it rains. (c) Google Images

Somehow the rain makes me sad. Yes, I know the little jawk of God and the angels crying and I am not claiming to be either *teehee* but, the rain is really really sad. Moreover, the gloomy weather it accompanies is so super unproductive. For having been a staunch Marxian advocate since my uni years (in the context of productivity of course, I will still have more than twenty pairs of shoes, thank you very much) the rain creates a desire to not work or in the case of today (Monday, where I actually write this post), work under gloomy weather and make horrendous mistakes that are well beyond redemption.

Yes, now I feel doubly miserable and I blame it on the weather.

Interestingly, among the few things I remember from my three-year long university education was the psychology lesson on Seasonal Affective Disorder. I hyperlinked for the lazy, you are welcome.

Not that I am overtly sunny and claim to be the advocate of all things sunshine, but when I learnt about this in uni, trust me when I tell you that it spoke to me! Duh. It obviously did because I still remember it noh. lol.

So, rainy days do get me down. So does cold weather. But the story of cold weather is also greatly influenced by my sinuses. See cold weather makes my sinuses clog up and as a result I cannot hear nor smell and become a very old grandma until the sun takes my woes away.

But I know rain is important and there are gazillions who enjoy being married to Eskimos so kudos to you all.

Leave me with my sun and I shall be happy.

P.S.: –

Two-hundred posts. Weee! (c) Google Images

Journal Entries

My present journal! Been using it since 2009, shows how often I write noh.
My present journal! Been using it since 2009, shows how often I write noh.

I spoke on reality or running away from it rather, a week ago and lo and behold I came across a journal entry I made last year. Yes, I keep a journal for those interested and have been since I was twelve. Apparently, this trait of mine has been a consistent one and seems to be something I would carry forward with me to the rest of my twenties (life beyond that is uncertain as at now). How I feel about that however, is not something I am still too sure of.

On the subject of alternate realities, since that is not necessarily an option, let me give you a little insight on my little places of solace. Yes, I’m becoming a little up close and personal and a certain few of you might not have anything to whine about so if you do not want to continue reading, I fully understand. 

Rightiyo. So there are a few “activities” (sounds dirty noh. Trust me they are not!) I do or places of solace I retreat to when I need well, clarity on certain things in my life. As most of you may know, or wouldn’t know, I’m a bit of a closed-person or happy loner, as I would like to call myself, and do not talk about things as often as someone else would talk to me about things. Once upon a time I did let that happen, clearly it didn’t end up the way I anticipated and small wonder I crabbed in to my shell again. These things I do or places I well resort to are also subject to my venting and rants about things I cannot say in public. I do not “yell” as a principle and given that I know what internalised anger does to one, I resort to these activities / places. 

Disclaimer: Some of the following are utterly generic and if I am ever caught doing one of the following (this sounds wrong noh) or even sitting in one of the following places, it might not always be that I’m borderline depressed, okay? Lol. 

1. Writing

Surprise, surprise for those who didn’t guess this already! 😀 I had quite a time when I am began (trying to commit to) “Blogging Tuesdays” as well, I was afraid I wouldn’t have anything to speak on. On certain days (such as today) I write a day (or two) before and schedule it for a Tuesday. These scheduling things are lifesavers I tell you. If I choose to write more than once a week, then jolly good. I’m not complaining.

So “writing” is technically part 1/3 in my “Writing / Cooking / Window Shopping” tag. I’ve been writing a while now, be it in journals or diaries or newspapers, did a bit of dabbling in poetry, some blogging and turns out I could even earn a living out of it, despite not been too good at it. Yay me.

But do note, I do not always write to seek solace okei. It’s also part of my job and when there is writer’s bloc, yes that does happen, I might run out of money for tukis, my cleanser and rum. First world pains I tell you.

2. Cooking

Part 2/3 of the tag, I cook not only for solace, sometimes out of necessity (not because I’m hungry, given my effed up appetite / metabolism but because it’s part of the unmentioned list of chores) and sometimes because I’m bored. I like cooking to be honest and I think I’m alright at it, in all modesty. I can’t cook fancy, nor can I bake, but some decent rice and curry is totally my jam. I post some okay-looking unfiltered images on Instagram 😀

3. Window Shopping!

I don’t think this applies any longer, well because I neither have much time to window shop in SL nor are there enough places to do so! I picked up this habit while I lived in India and it was fabulous! My roomie was not much of a shopper, nor was my Nepali friend. As for my two Indian friends, one was a bit of a shopper, the other a lost soul like myself. Haha. I miss all of us together.

Another life, another time, I hope. 

4. Driving

Hmm, this is a tad bit subjective because this has found itself in the “chore” list. I like long drives by myself actually, even if it means going to Colombo on a perfectly chill weekend to pick up my sister’s birthday cake, alone. Yes, I am a happy loner noh. Wadudu. 

5. Working!

I like to call myself a bit of a workaholic because work keeps me happy and moreover, it keeps me occupied thereby not recreating an idle mind’s is a devil’s workshop situation we are all too familiar with. Or in other words, it keeps me sane. Working is a healthy way of releasing energy (the negative sort too), overworking leads to exhaustion which leads to a goodnight’s sleep, which then leads to waking up and repeating the process.

And monotony is so under-appreciated I tell you.

6. Jogging / Yoga

No, I’m not going Zen on you, neither am I good at doing either of the two: jogging or yoga(ing). But I do tremendously enjoy doing both and gives me my much required “time” and well, keeps me happy, healthy and hopefully slim. Lol. It’s not that bad, also it isn’t as pretentious as it seems. Trust me 🙂

Okay so I wrote all over the place today: journal-entried after a year *woots*, blogged and there is work related writing I still need to look into. 

Tell me, what sort of places do you retreat to or what do you do to find peace and solace and I don’t know, Zen? 🙂

Hope all of you have a great week ahead. Mine’s bound to be interesting, me thinks. 

P.S. – It’s still Sunday here and I know I wouldn’t write anything by Tuesday so hitting #lifesaver mode

Running Away from Reality

But then what is reality, if not what we define ourselves? Reality and normalcy are the world as we know it. It is not within our control, which is why seek a world outside it.

***

Hi there!

So I was to write this over the weekend, but that never materialised. So what else is new?

Well a lot of things to start with but let’s not get in to that. I’m not too sure if it is nostalgia from four years past but somewhere this time, or a little before this time in 2010 when I left to India. I sought India as a place of solace, escape and moreover peace. Not that I was a “troubled” person. Well I was, yes, but no more than you are. Over the years I have grown to accept that we are all troubled in our own sense and if we think we are special coz we are not, then there is something absolutely wrong with you. I am no more troubled than you are and vice versa. So quit being a punk about it. Mind you, this is advise and reassurance I’m also giving myself.

Truer words have not been spoken. (c) Google Images
Truer words have not been spoken. (c) Google Images

I am not too sure where it all started but there were some boy issues then and there were certain spatial issues (you know my issue of “space” noh) I had a while to get used to and well, I needed a new start. I am thankful to my mother who was willing to see through my education and for my sister too for having paid for a fair share of expenses. Would I ever be able to pay them back? I am not too sure, but I do hope that my actions would be on the lines of something that would make them happy.

It’s perhaps that time of year again, perhaps driven by nostalgia and philosophical conversations that make me wonder if we all need to constantly run away from reality, and why.

It’s not as though I seek happiness that I already do not have, but then perhaps it is that constant message of underachievement, underperformance and a lot of other negative cues that make me feel this way. In times and circumstances such as these, it is only a sadass blog post that would help me get by.

I hope there are sunnier days ahead. The clouds are messing with the sun and making the rains comes down. I’m not too sure if that is a good thing.

I hope all you babies are having a good week.

My Two Tuesday Cents

This is neither a brave post of sorts, nor a rant. But a mere expression of thought, or my unworthy two cents of what has become. I am not a brave soul, neither do I claim to be one (or intend to at that), yet it’s Tuesday and one and a half days have passed since what has happened. In all honesty, it is still Monday but I know it would be nightfall by the time I get about finishing this.

While it would be unfair to say that I am not affected by what takes place, blame it on the genetic makeup and the ongoing qualms of the personal belief systems, I do know that the riots are bothering me. I might not be too explicit about it but when I see my kind fight each other, the child in me simply asks, “Why?”

It has been a long time since I accepted that we were all one kind, irrespective of the supposed racist I claimed to be while I lived in India. On the contrary, I nurtured within me a deep love for the country, its people and everything else that came with it. Now, the supposedly mature person I have become no longer fights for “her kind” that rallies against “his kind”. While streaks of feminism still lie in me as the highlights on my hair since last Summer, it is only a matter of time before my hair grows longer and I get a new hair cut.

When the Sandra Bullock movie, Miss Congeniality mocked world peace, we all laughed a long in the name of comedy. But little did we know that those blonde babes had more sense than we do in wishing for a world filled with stability.

Some have called this the reincarnation or perhaps the start of such a reincarnation of the 1983 Black July. On the same light I have friends who avoid all forms of “reported media” on the claim of partiality and the mere fact of it being reported. Perhaps if we were all as dismissive about life, the world might be a happier place.

From the heartless to the “hearty”, here’s my parting word of Tuesday advise:

My parting word of advise for you babies <3
My parting word of advise for you babies ❤ (c) Google Images