Let’s Talk about “Gay Marriage”

For the record, I’m neither gay nor am I married.

Second, I add the phrase “gay marriage” in inverted commas because I don’t even see how a “gay” marriage is any different to a “regular” marriage between two “heterosexual” people. As far as I know, marriage is a union of love, gay or otherwise. Or one of convenience, if Jane Austen was bae.

Third, I’m quite aware of the sort of possible criticism that this post might gather and my dear fragile heart (apparently I do have one after all) might not even be able to handle it. But it’s been bothering my pea brain and of course if this means that I’m finally going to blog about it, so be it.

Fourth and finally, my research might be flawed. I’m not well read on the topic and have only bits and bobs of information I sourced through the Internet.

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According to the news there was talk of Sri Lanka “decriminalising homosexuality” (I suppose that would be the first step towards gay marriage) and then in less than a day this proposition was called off. I also made the mistake of reading the comments in this news article – the comments are not for the faint hearted.

In fact when American legalised gay marriage nearly two years ago and Facebook suddenly had an influx of all these colourful profile pictures. I mean this is great and all. No doubt about that. But the question my pea brain had in mind was as to how the world came to a state where the right to marriage was a question of gender and not of more important things like age or mental stability? However, those in America who were able to be married as a result of the events of 2015, good on you no doubt.

With Sri Lanka though, it’s a different story all together. Our friend in the city actually put together a video I am happy to share and that’s not even because of my favourite friend Dili. They walked around “progressive” Colombo and asked people their thoughts on legalising same-sex marriage / “decriminalising homosexuality”. The word “decriminalise” makes me wonder what sort of word rapists of paedophile get. Again some content is not for the faint hearted. It doesn’t scare you like a horror movie. It just makes you sad to realise that there are people (probably the same age as you are) that think aeons different to you do. Also that there might still be people who have no idea on what they might be talking about to start with. Here, I specifically refer to the loose use of the word “culture”.

What nags my ignorant self is probably not knowing as to why the world need a “special” law passed in order to practice the right to love. 

And I’m not even the romantic one in my present relationship.

Until next time.

#ThinkSunny

Let’s Talk about Failed Writing – II

You see, writing “well” for me was never easy. I always wrote, even as a child (since when I could actually start writing that is) but it wasn’t about being any good at it, but more so as a practice of documentation and now in retrospect (as an adult, lol), to keep at it. Because like the electronic organ that I used to play (for fifteen years mind you!) the more you practice, the better you get at it, yes?

Of course this was before a time when I started considering if “good” writing was even a question. This was before the time of competition, before the time the Internet would be a wonderful but terrible place where I would get to see “better” pieces of writing on the same thoughts that had run through my mind while driving home the previous evening but I had let go of it because I was just too tired to put it down once I got home.

This was before the time I had decided to make a career out of it.

See that’s the other problem. I like to call myself a writer but clearly, I don’t seem to be doing much of it. Mostly because of time. There simply isn’t time between navigating through traffic and replying to a gazillion emails. Second, is inspiration. When there is inspiration, there is no time (or there are more important tasks at hand – a time like now for instance) or when there is time there is no inspiration. I don’t write books or long form as much now so whatever discipline I used to have during my journalist days seems to have casually found its way out of the window.

With the problem of being called a writer – because it’s difficult to explain to people what exactly I “write” because I too don’t really know what that is any more – there comes the question of career. For those who know me well enough, you probably have heard enough about my existential career crisis. For most of the part, I don’t know what to do or maybe at times I do and then there is no clear definite path to get to where I have to go.

Maybe sometimes it would be better to go back to a time of no choice, no Internet and standard careers for all those who graduated school and ran into university. Choice supposedly makes us more creative, brings out the best in us and leaves us more confused than ever.

My career as a supposed writer may have failed because I’m only 434 words in and here I am trying to finish up my train of thought that began with some definitive goal at the beginning of this piece.

Let’s Talk about Prostitutes

A lot of people have already begun talking about it and clearly this post will not necessarily make a difference, but there are rants in my head that need to be written somewhere and if you don’t feel like reading it, no worries!

This is totes obvs with reference to the piece of shit writing on The Sunday Leader yesterday, which was shared by the lovely Aisha. I strongly suggest you read the ridiculous article by The Sunday Leader either way, in order to add some context to the story. 

Let’s start by saying that I, for a long time have been bias towards the cause of prostitutes. I’ve always thought that there was nothing wrong with selling your body and making a living out of it, because a) at corporates people tend to sell their souls anyway, haha and b) the way men leer is actually no different to the “male” customer that goes in search of female prostitutes.

Few disclaimers too (because the world gets ridiculously offensive at everything we have to say now):

  • I’m not going to call them commercial sex workers because it makes no difference anyway. Or maybe it does and it doesn’t really matter to me. It’s different to the differently-abled / disabled debate. Let’s just call a spade, a spade okay.
  • All supposed relationships in this are for heterosexual people. I don’t know too much on homosexual / bisexual prostitutes to speak as much on it.

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Dear Ashanthi,

As my friend Aisha points out, “young girls are suffering from the loss of virginity” is not a disease. Sometimes girls, if not women, lose their virginity at a young age due to rape. Or maybe due to consensual sex with their teenage boyfriend. You don’t “suffer” because of this “loss”. Such sufferings occur in the “loss” of a family member.

More on the “loss”, you don’t really “lose” anything. True there is the story of the hymen breaking and what not, but really it’s not a loss man, grow up for fuck’s sake. It doesn’t even work the same way for all women.

“In most cases innocent but naive young girls, seduced by their boyfriends, lose their virginity due to their affairs. But then, instead of coming back to the right track, they wander away in life astray dipping deeper into the abyss.” 

Like what the actual fuck. What if these girls who have gone “astray” have done so because it is a choice that they have made? Just as the misogynists would say that rape is something women bring upon themselves because of the clothes they wear (another rant for another day), sometimes women go astray, sleep around with multiple men, BECAUSE THEY WANT TO. Grow up lady, the world is not as rosy as you think it and there are women who enjoy having sex with one man or multiple men, and if they are sexually consenting adults who would do it for a fee, what on earth is your problem?

“However, in Sri Lanka, this has become a serious issue due to the ignorance of the authorities for many years.”

Dearest Ashanthi, have you stopped to realise why there is an increase in “commercial sex workers” and an increase in rape? Because men are fucking frustrated. I’ve always thought (and I know that I’m not alone in thinking so) that if prostitution was legalised that there might be a slight decrease in rape because of the increased number of sexually consenting women? I might be wrong, I don’t know, because I don’t have the numbers. But logically, this works out well in my mind and in my utopia, male and female prostitution will always be legal and girls can walk home in mini skirts at eleven in the night. (and so can men, without being harassed or mugged, because we are all equal here, Jesus.)

“But the second group which consists of the majority, are women who have become helpless without anyone to look after them…. The opinion in the society about these women varies as some have criticised their work while some have felt sorry about their misfortune. When we look into the real reasons that have compelled them to become sex workers, we too tend to justify their fate.”

I actually agree with you on this statement. When men who are husbands, fathers, care takers, breadwinners or whatever else you feel fit to call them, fail to do what “society deemed them to do”, women have to take on their role of providing for the family. Some women, who are fortunate enough to have basic education, finds work at a minimum-wage job and the more fortunate middle or higher-class ones are able to find work in the private sector. The rest of the women who are not at such an advantage have to fall back on either daily labour or prostitution. Those who are able to would naturally choose the latter because it’s human to want to make more money faster. I work three jobs, you see.

“In a corrupt society, the lack of solutions for their social problems have compelled many women to become sex workers.”

Our society is corrupt for a number of reasons that I think include: those who come in to power, mismanagement of people’s money, greed, lack of solid foundation for education (and the necessary tools that come with it) that can lead to things like prostitution yes. (I can rant on infrastructure and inefficient government services but I don’t think that’s what we are ranting about now).

Besides your blatant ignorance, supposed reasons for gallivanting at three in the morning in the name of trashy investigative journalism and most importantly the lack of really good sub-editor, I am yet to find enough reason as to why The Sunday Leader would run something on these lines. Or perhaps, they were needing a publicity stunt and thought that this trashy piece of writing would make us buy the paper despite the terribly cheap print quality they have.

Go get laid woman.

From, a lot of angry women.

Let’s Talk about Failed Writing – I

See the notion that comes from “Working from Home” is the supposed abundance of free time. Well, yes and no. Yes, because you are at home, supposedly chilling in your pyjamas (unlike YouTubers who have morning routines where they get about their day at home with a full face of makeup, the furthest I’d go would be to have a shower, breakfast and wear more home-clothes) and deciding what you want to do with the rest of your day. No, because working from home also requires an abundance of self-discipline that seem to come in like a cool breeze on a hot summer’s day. Sometimes, it’s not as infrequent depending on your levels of happiness, hormones and Heaven knows other monstrosities that govern your day to day existence.

But when it comes to writers who work from home,

(Still despite all hesitation, confusion and problems where career is concerned like to think that I am a writer)

there is no excuses, right?

Or that is what I thought so too the days I’ve stayed at home to work. See the work (that is not necessarily related to writing) always happened, but the writing, never came by.

And I’m not even talking about novels. It’s these little blog posts. Prose poetry stuff. Or even a Trip Advisor review.

If I were to show you the number of posts that are sitting in my WP drafts, half-written Pages saves or even the scribbles from various notebooks, the only question would be as to why not go ahead and finish them now.

I’ve done that before and all I can say is that the train of thought once lost, doesn’t really come back. It’s weird because for someone like me who remembers shiz that no one ever should, it should ideally come easy. Because I remember things. But trains of thought seem to pass by and never come back, I don’t know why.

While it definitely motivates and makes me happy to read others’ writings, it doesn’t always help to see pages and volumes of publications making its way to the Internet and print media, while I am stuck here trying to hit a 500 words.

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(c) Creative Commons

Until sunnier times to write.

An Open Letter from Me to You

To the dearest people in my life,

These are different from the previous open letters that I have written. This one is a tad bit more personal even to the extent of TMI. There might be parts that you might think are exaggerated but this is just me talking through the written word because we all know how bad I am at communicating in real life.

I don’t always speak my mind. You see, I’m crying-emotional AF and any sort of extreme emotion gets my waterworks running. I am not very emotional otherwise as most may already know. If you don’t believe me and know any of my close friends and family (or even better the ex-boyfriends!) do ask them too. I also used to be affectionate once upon a time but that too was lost after growing into adulthood. And on being sensitive and sentimental, but we’ve spoken on that before.

Instead of me speaking my mind, I want you to read my mind. No one is psychic here I know, but I can gauge your feelings. In a similar way I want you to do the same too. Because you wouldn’t know and I wouldn’t tell you otherwise.

I also don’t ask for things. If I get something I take it but if not I don’t. Because if we are close and I were to do things for you I would expect that you knew on how the drill worked. But if it doesn’t turn out that way that doesn’t mean i would care less about you. But you should know that I don’t ask. On the contrary if I do ask or say I want something, please by all means give it to me if you can or if you can’t say so. You see it’s part ego and part social anxiety that prevents this happening often.

Continuing on the note of asking, if I ask and you don’t respond because you may have simply forgotten, I won’t ask again.

You see, I’m not a very second chance type of person. My Mother is heavily into that but to an extent I’m unforgiving and I don’t know why. I suppose it’s because I don’t forget easily. I would want to ideally forget, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind style, but I don’t. This means I will ideally never (or not for s very long time) ask anything related on these lines again.

I also want you to remember. Mostly again because I remember.

I suppose a lot of these sound like I want you to be me, haha

Because for me if is always the little things. Also because I’m just tired of constantly reminding.

You should also know that I get lonely. I like being alone and we all know that, but being alone and being lonely are two different things. It’s probably again due to my social anxiety and female hormones, but I get lonely and because I don’t communicate, I don’t tell and I would want you to know. I want you to know and be there for me without me having to ask you for it. Because I don’t ask. But if you don’t, that’s alright because I wouldn’t love you less.

Finally, if you are wondering on what you get out of all of this, all I can give you is unconditional love. I will also give you little material or edible things when I can but it’s my “love” that you will always have and it’s not because love will save the world. I will also make sure that no one around you tries to hurt you and if they do I would wish nothing but unspeakable things on them and to the rest of their generations.

Overall, I’m asking too much. I know. But I can’t help it and the person in me is too adamant to change her ways. But if you are already here in my life, thank you for being there for so long. If you are new, welcome and I’m glad to you have here too. I hope this letter explains my behaviour because I’m simply a little tired of trying to explain myself.

Love,
Seni.
Open Letters

Non-Motivation Tuesday

It’s raining and I’m miserable. I wanted to Give Thanks later today but with yesterday’s remnants of awful rains and this morning’s gloomy skies, trust me, I feel grateful to no one.

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I know I sound wretchedly insane to be saying what I am saying given the continuous weeks of mad heat but I was (am) one of those silent warriors that advocated for preferred warm weather. In all fairness, I do know the importance of rains and all that jazz and no, I am neither blaming governments (both past and present) for decisions taken nor those before us that revved up the country’s temperature with the industrial revolution, development and the works and cause climate change and all that work that I do.

I’m just ranting on how I dislike this weather, mostly because I am sensitive as fuck to the cold (because we all know how insensitive a person I am otherwise, haha) and I get superbly unproductive and snappy in anything below 24*c.

I couldn’t go to work yesterday (yes, my supposedly “luxurious” job requires that I go to an office space every once in a way for meetings and the likes) because of traffic, flooding and traffic, in that order and spent the day at home catching up on work. I mean like, what else is new. Given the nature of my work and how far I live, I actually like going into the city you know. It can be a little magical.

I am also mildly convinced on being (self) diagnosed with Seasonal Affective Disorder, despite not having seasons, but you know, one could never be too sure with this terrible weather.

Given how unproductive I get with this weather and what nots, here are a few things that I do when the blues give me wrong cues.

  1. Workout 
    I’ve been a little heavy (and worried) on this department, no pun intended. Mostly because my best friend from school gets married in a month and a half and home girl needs to shed some kilos. There were regular workout sesh(s) in play, but then shifting happened and sickness happened and now we are just f-a-t. Sigh. But rainy days are good for working out yes! There are two downsides to this however:a) If you have past injuries they tend to do a bit of a Jon Snow during this weather and comes back to life. Just be sure to not put too much strain on it.
    b) If you are among the non-privileged that do not have access to hot water, showers are a little icy, to say the least.
  2. Nap (because you deserve it)
    It’s raining outside and chances are that it’s (either) thundering or/and lightning. If it isn’t, well and good, you can cook, eat and watch a film or something. However, if you live in areas like mine and experience constant power cuts and your wifi wargs into the nearest clouds, this might not be an option so just sleep. I mean, what else can you do, for free? Also, if you, like me, dislike rainy weather, a nap is something you deserve.
  3. Spend Time Alone 
    Yes, we all know how much I like drowning myself in loneliness. The rain, as it puts me in a bit of I need some water from the House of Black and White situation. So the time alone, does help, though too much of it, might actually be equivalent to drinking the water all together.
  4. Spring (Rain) Clean 
    If the rain comes alone without its equally miserable counterparts, thunder, lightning and awfully gloomy skies, go for the broom and start cleaning. I would advise against mopping (depends on the texture of the floor however) given the water absorption issues. But cleaning is good. Decluttering is better. Perhaps once the skies are cleared, so are your storage areas, floors and hopefully your mind #DrownInMyDeepWordsPuddles
  5. Plan / Organise (work)
    This may sound similar to the previous point, but this is specific to workload and task lists etc. I am one of those people who spend a considerate amount of time everyday (at least 20-30 minutes) planning work for the week and organising / cleaning up lists and similar chores. The rain, (up until it puts you to sleep) is an ideal time to go through what needs to be done and what does not and plan your life for sunnier, bikini-clad times.

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#ThinkSunny

P.S. – Sorry not sorry on the excessive Game of Thrones references. This season has been nothing but phenomenal so far (that is, compared to the last).

Let’s Talk about this VAT thing

I’m the type of person who rants on supposedly first world problems as you saw yesterday. When it comes to VAT and other things of national importance, I become a hermit that quietly reads the news and shares it if it happens to be exceptionally interesting (like on Newscurry or something), or just keep it to myself for information’s sake and not discuss it in public fora. Mostly because I have no interest in discussing common man’s problems not because it doesn’t affect me, but my nonchalant dismissive and cynical ways lets me think that this is the way of life. And if you haven’t guessed it already: I am everything but the revolutionist.

I’ve always been the conformist type. Ever since I was younger, probably because my older sister got her way most of the time, haha, I to some extent mastered the art of manipulation, tsk. No hate now. I also mastered the art of doing something in order to get something in return. For example, when I was in my “early 20s” #waa I would be the type to clean the house the whole week, wash dishes and cook on most days just to go out that Friday night and party all night long. Now I’m too old to party and even if I weren’t I knock off by 2300h, because fatigue. But then, I would also be the type who would do things in advance just because I remember a lot of things (I rather not remember) #ElephantBrain and when I ask for something (which again is rare because I don’t ask for things because #EgoIssues) I do not get rejected. Unless it’s a salary hike or something, haha.

But then, when it comes to things like VAT imposed on healthcare, now that makes me one of those armchair computer chair revolutionists.

No not that VAT
No, not that VAT

So, I did not know this but according to the article I read this morning (linked above), healthcare was one of the few sectors where VAT was not imposed all this while and turns out (as per the article) this stands true also for “countries with more advanced medical facilities”.

Having gone to the hospital this morning to check on my blurring vision (bit of an Arya Stark situation here) I was wondering why the cashier was struggling to find 50 cents to give back to me (I didn’t know we still used em with current inflation rates) and later saw a little notice that explained on this VAT situation (this was at Asiri on Kirula Road by the way).

Apologise if this seems blurry. I couldn't really see what I was snapping.
Apologise if this seems blurry. I couldn’t really see what I was snapping

I don’t know what the status is for people who rely on government hospitals and free medical facilities. Does this mean that VAT has been imposed on medication / pharmacies as well? And then you think that Unawatuna and Hikkaduwa are bad for overcharging patrons with VAT and Service Charge even when taking out a mediocre kottu roti. Come to Colombo and by a card of Panadol and get 15% added to that.

See, this time what’s different with my nonchalant dismissive and cynical ways is me knowing that this is unfair. (What’s more the front page of the print-Daily Mirror says of a 4% increase to water bills – and you thought water was free. Why aren’t they charging us for air already). I for one know that I have a limited amount on the OPD section of my medical insurance. But what about those who do not have insurance, or work on part-time, consultancy (tsk) or day-labour that do not have a medical plan going on?

While my nonchalant dismissive and cynical ways pay no mind to what the Government is doing to the country, things like this somehow bring out that almost dying armchair computer chair revolutionist in me and like most other armchair computer chair revolutionist, I will until changes are made or revised, sit behind a screen and rant about it.

I hope you all are well, because it’s too expensive to be otherwise.

Running Away from Reality

But then what is reality, if not what we define ourselves? Reality and normalcy are the world as we know it. It is not within our control, which is why seek a world outside it.

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Hi there!

So I was to write this over the weekend, but that never materialised. So what else is new?

Well a lot of things to start with but let’s not get in to that. I’m not too sure if it is nostalgia from four years past but somewhere this time, or a little before this time in 2010 when I left to India. I sought India as a place of solace, escape and moreover peace. Not that I was a “troubled” person. Well I was, yes, but no more than you are. Over the years I have grown to accept that we are all troubled in our own sense and if we think we are special coz we are not, then there is something absolutely wrong with you. I am no more troubled than you are and vice versa. So quit being a punk about it. Mind you, this is advise and reassurance I’m also giving myself.

Truer words have not been spoken. (c) Google Images
Truer words have not been spoken. (c) Google Images

I am not too sure where it all started but there were some boy issues then and there were certain spatial issues (you know my issue of “space” noh) I had a while to get used to and well, I needed a new start. I am thankful to my mother who was willing to see through my education and for my sister too for having paid for a fair share of expenses. Would I ever be able to pay them back? I am not too sure, but I do hope that my actions would be on the lines of something that would make them happy.

It’s perhaps that time of year again, perhaps driven by nostalgia and philosophical conversations that make me wonder if we all need to constantly run away from reality, and why.

It’s not as though I seek happiness that I already do not have, but then perhaps it is that constant message of underachievement, underperformance and a lot of other negative cues that make me feel this way. In times and circumstances such as these, it is only a sadass blog post that would help me get by.

I hope there are sunnier days ahead. The clouds are messing with the sun and making the rains comes down. I’m not too sure if that is a good thing.

I hope all you babies are having a good week.