Writing this on the eve of my birthday, in bed and with a terrible throat.
As those who know me for a little longer would know, I always struggle with birthdays. I don’t have a specific negative memory attached to it, at least none that I can remember, but I think I’ve always felt awkward around them.
When I was in my early 20s, I used to actively go offline from all my social media for about two weeks during this period. This was when deactivating a social media account didn’t seem like an exam you assessed on. This was also before the time when I worked as much as I did in social media.
In my mid-20s, after university and learning about Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), despite living on a tropical island, I found a link between SAD and the year-end review period and that contributed to not wanting to celebrate my birthday.
As for romantic partners, I said I didn’t like surprises, so birthdays were always very subtle. As I’ve grown older, I’ve realised that this is linked to my anxiety, and the uncertainty of things – but we are not discussing my mental health (issues at the moment).
The only time I did want to have a grand celebration – on a boat no less, I had planned it all out, was on my 30th birthday. However, it was 2020, and that would’ve been insensitive.
Now, at 35, I know that I’m not a victim of SAD, and the year-end review can go as I please. I like to look at the year as a whole and focus on what I have learnt and what I hope to carry forward into the following year.
This is something I usually reserve only for my blog here, but since I am hoping to write more in the new year, I thought it would be alright to cross audiences.
Also, no, they are not really in any order, and yes, I may have referenced the ones from earlier.
- If you feel called to study and you have the resources to do so, by all means, study. It is a privilege, and I wasn’t very good at it growing up, but that doesn’t define how I study in the future. Also, education will (most of the time) make us better.
- Trauma comes in all forms and manifests in various behaviours and characteristics.
- Learning about your triggers and your mental health will also probably equip you better to deal with those around you.
- Not every decision you make towards your well-being needs to be backed by an explanation.
- On the same lines, an explanation is most of the time volunteered; it isn’t mandatory.
- Leaving an environment you are comfortable in to pursue something uncomfortable is growth.
- Your circle of friends will grow smaller.
- Many of the decisions you make, relationships you have, and environments you choose to socialise in will most likely be in direct correlation to your value system.
- Allow those around you to (positively) challenge your ideologies and thoughts – it’s always good to see things from another perspective.
- Never be afraid to admit that you were wrong.
- At the same time, know that when you are right, you will not often be celebrated; usually, people might not even remember.
- The right environment – people and/or nature – can shape your entire outlook on life.
- Being patient and kind will always get you far in life.
- Being calm will also get you far in life – and sometimes those around you will notice this before you do.
- Listening to another person is always the better thing to do.
- Neutrality is not an option.
- It is possible to coexist in the same environment and have wildly different opinions. Unless the opinion is regarding a mythical country called Israel, which doesn’t exist.
- If these opinions do become too polarising, and if it is available to you, leaving the environment is also an option.
- While empathy can come naturally to some people, it is a skill you can definitely learn. So if someone lacks empathy, know that it is a choice they are making.
- The same goes for kindness.
- If the resources and good health are available to you, it is never too late to learn new things.
- It’s okay to feel sad and disappointed about the world around you. What’s important is that we don’t let this sadness consume us. Instead, we try to find glimmers of hope within this overarching cloud of gloom – and there are always stories to celebrate.
- Never stop telling stories that celebrate yourself and the success of others.
- Gratitude is the greatest gift you can give yourself.
- Privilege, now more than ever, is very real.
- While you can feel guilty for your privilege, know that being in a place of privilege means you can always give back a little more than someone less privileged than you are.
- Live within your means or below it; that way, when capitalism comes to an end, you might still be okay.
- Understand that there is little to nothing you can do to control the actions and words of someone else. You can receive them with silence and kindness and leave the said actions and words at the door, but know that this is a direct reflection of themselves and not of you. This also goes for toxic behaviour – and it is not contagious. There is no need to partake in it or reciprocate.
- You can only positively encourage someone (an adult) towards bettering their life or lifestyle. You can encourage with actions and activities to do together. But at the end of the day, it needs to be something they truly want for themselves, not something we force upon them.
- Life might seem bleak more often than not, but know that if you are not around and alive, the people closest to you will often wonder what they did wrong.
- Just because you’ve done something one way all your life, that doesn’t mean you have to continue doing it that way.
- Change is scary, but it can be a good thing.
- Allow yourself to dream outrageously.
- Know that you are also capable of achieving these outrageous dreams.
- Grief is still a difficult journey to navigate, and every day brings you a step closer towards better dealing with it.
I’m sorry if 2025 hasn’t been your year or the year you hoped for, but I’m glad you are here and that you are reading this.
I hope we are collectively able to stay in the present moment and take in each experience as it comes to us for what it is.
Wishing you kindness, gratitude and love for the coming year.
~Seni
#ThinkSunny🌻
Seniinthebox 