Hello everyone. Hope you are well ish? I have no real reason for not writing here sooner just that a lot has been happening and I haven’t actually given myself enough time to process and therefore a lot of things are starting to come to a halt as a result of me still processing this madness. Well, it’s not technically madness but when things are not done within a reasonably agreed amount of time, I suppose this happens. So here is a list of things that’s probably the best response to, “So, what’s new?” if we haven’t spoken in a while. Or we have and as we know I’m not very good at talking about things that are not comfortable.
Also, I’m not going to do my usual disclaimer about being more privileged than the majority during a pandemic but just wanted to say that I’m not doing it because I have issues in life.
- I am so tired. To be fair everyone is. I think this pandemic has really driven us into mad levels of exhaustion. Sometimes I don’t even know why I’m tired. Do you know what I’m talking about?
- We got fully vaccinated. Very thrilled about it. But this also reduces my chances of using my not-vaccinated-can’t-come excuse for the rare occasion someone asks me to come out. Sigh. Despite the vaccination though my paranoia is still on point.
- My hair loss is colossal. I am on some different vitamins and supplements to help with my hair, and it usually does work out well, but no change has been happening and I think the amount of hair I lose is really starting to get to me.
- Emotions have been high. Not sure if it’s the vaccine, hormones, age or all of the mentioned.
- I gave in my notice to leave work. It’s the first time I’m actually leaving with nothing really on the other side. But I think I can give myself a break. It starts in October and I’ve already planned a list of fun projects to do like it’s school holidays, lol.
- We tried, in vain, to apply for a housing loan and of course it didn’t come through because people on contract are not recognised as full-time employees in our local financial/banking sector.
- With no intention whatsoever, I got on a dating app for the first time last Saturday. Two days into it, I may have unintentionally ghosted on some of them because I got a bit tired of letting people know what I did for a living. I mean it’s different when Daniel Mac does it on social media. Also, if you don’t who that is, I don’t blame you. But besides answering the same questions, I honestly don’t know if I am ready to date. I am open to the idea of going on dates, yes, when it’s safe – putting that out there before we get cancelled like some influenzas (in my dreams) – but dating? For the long term? Only for things to end (for “me” to end), be disappointed and then do it all over again? Please refer to #1.
- Coming back very quickly to #5, I think a break would be good for me and my head. I’m not too worried about money for at least a few months because (lol) our loan never came in and I can still use those savings, and travel savings because who the fuck is even travelling? #GoodbyeKilimanjaro
- My yoga course isn’t going great at the moment but I’m still doing it. That’s in the October list as well. I guess this is what happens when you start paying for your education, haha.
- In this new study situation I seem to have gotten myself into, I also signed up for a course on digital marketing, for eight whole months. Now this makes me occupied on not just Sunday morning (yoga) but Saturday morning as well. I think it’s important at this stage in life to give yourself things to look forward to.
I promise to be back with more blog posts here for the three of you who actually read it – two of whom I am related to – thank you for that! I’m just trying to be less tired and well, just get on with things.
If you are struggling, irrespective of being ‘privileged’ or otherwise, I hear you, I feel you and would like to validate whatever you are feeling just so I too feel less miserable about everything else that’s going on.
Here’s to taking one day at a time.